Without further introduction, I am the oldest amongst my siblings. Being the first child in the family brings blessing, hope, inspiration and excitement to one’s life. Some people tend to envy the first child however, there are also pressure coming from parents to fulfill their dreams to the oldest.

Parents expected their child to be soleh and soleha, translated from Arabic to English which means a child that prays to Allah (do the 5 commandments in a Muslim perspective), obey their parents, and respect people without knowing their religion and racial background. The first (please refer to the oldest) need to present one self of being a good person (who doesn’t want to be a good Muslim and a good person to the people…. ) so that their siblings can have someone to look up to beside their parents, cousins, and friends. By having the honor of doing everything first, gave the first child a challenge and golden opportunity to tackle the problems and have solutions to whatever situations they are in. Not knowing the consequences of being the first, the first has to meet what its called failure. Perhaps when some desirable dreams are not met, the first are encountered with a nervous breakdown called depression. Okay, perhaps depression is a bit extreme in this case, but depression comes very often for them. They are expected to excel in school, expected to make no mistakes, expected to enhance the family names, and finally to set a good examples for their siblings.

As we know, the first is also a human being that is filled with unstable emotions and makes mistakes. Nothing can be perfect for the first. With the mistakes that they encountered, there comes an advantage for which they learn to avoid their own mistakes.

Being pressured, however, plays a vital factor to the oldest. Everyday parents reminded us to be a good role model, not only for the society, but also for the family. Those reminder are always an advantage to remind ourselves that we are encourage to do better in every aspects. Unfortunately, once we failed our parents expectations, it feels that the world fell apart and it seems, in that instant, that nothing can fix it. You see, as a baby we are trained indirectly to make our parents proud. From then, we have set a high standard in excelling in most of the activities. Please note parents, that never gives your children too much activities at once. It is like spreading themselves too thin. They are a child after all and they are in need to explore their interest by their self. We do appreciate your concern for the oldest and in total honor of being the first, however, dealing with pressure is the worst illness that one can give you. I know that parents might be disappointed in not meeting their standards, on the other hand please know that we have tried very hard and gave our best shot to make you proud. Trust us, making you proud is the most rewarding gifts that the oldest can ever have.

Please, I shall kindly ask, don’t envy us for having the opportunity to do everything first. But please give us some encouragement, love, understanding and support because those are the foundation that are needed for us. Life is hard… we will try our best…. even though we have failed many times… but just know that the truth is that NO we did not fail… one who fails, are one step away from success….

Love,

From the Oldest…